


Smacked Up, Down, and Around

by ArisenFromNightmares



Category: Beyblade, Persona 5, Professional Wrestling, RWBY, Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bad Ideas, Drabble, Gen, Reviews
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 18:29:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17289176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArisenFromNightmares/pseuds/ArisenFromNightmares
Summary: Crow Hogan just wants to relax after a hard day of week by watching the WWE do what it used to do best-put on entertaining television.Unfortunately, a trio of unwanted house guests always find reasons to show up.





	Smacked Up, Down, and Around

The first Tuesday of the new year.

For Crow Hogan it was a chance to finally relax and take in his favorite pastime, or at least it would’ve been if it weren’t for the fact that three interlopers had decided to crash his garage. Weiss Schnee, ex-heiress to the Schnee Dust Company would be frowning as she watched the trio of Xavier Woods, Kofi Kingston, and Big E gallivanting their way down to the ring while tossing out pancakes and hyping up the crowd “Why is the big guy dressed like the New Years baby, and why on God’s green earth am I even watching this?”

The orange-haired security officer would groan as the pale-haired woman continued to complain despite Crow turning the volume up on his television to drown her out, the other two individuals who had traipsed in with her seemed just as exasperated at her behavior. “Because it’s my garage princess, and I’m no fan of the New Day either but whatever keeps the people chill- hey wait, did Big E just pull those pancakes from his diaper! Gross!”

Max Tate, the blonde-haired Beyblade enthusiast would roll his eyes as his friend seemed to bug out over what he was seeing. “C’mon dude, pretty sure E’s wearing something underneath that diaper. No way those pancakes are seasoned in nutsack-“ Max would flinch as he felt something hit the back of his head as he whirled around to face Crow, who in turn would point to the last of his unwanted house guests. “Geez Makoto, I was just being honest about the situation, no need to throw your oil rag at me!”

The brunette would sigh as she calmly worked on her motorcycle, riding it had become something of a welcome reminder of her former life as a Phantom Thief. “Gonna need that back by the way Maxie, after all I’m the only one with a reason to be here.” She would smirk to herself, catching the oil rag without much of a look as she inspected her handiwork. “So, do people just usually announce themselves as entering the Royal Rumble like it’s nothing, it feels like an opportunity that big should be qualified for. Ya know, in a match like it **should be.** ”  

Crow would snort as he took off his work boots, only half-listening as Kofi would announce that the New Day would no longer toss out pancakes to the crowd- only to promptly re-neg on said promise citing that no one ever really stuck to their New Years resolution. “You really think the WWE has time to make qualifying matches for 30 different guys in four weeks? Just toss in your big names, some jobbers, a legend or three, maybe even an NXT guy and you’re set.”

Weiss would snort in annoyance at Makoto’s knowledge of this pseudo-sport before throwing up her arms hopelessly. “And here I was hoping that I wasn’t the only sane one here!” The heiress would spot Crow’s mini-fridge in the corner and begin rummaging through it for food even Makoto glared a metaphorical hole through the back of the other woman’s head. “And do you have **anything** in this fridge besides alcohol?!”

Max would shake his head as the first match of the night began: “The Charismatic Enigma” Jeff Hardy would face the “Samoan Submission Machine” known as Samoa Joe, the winner would go on to fill the last slot in a five-man match to crown a number one contender for the WWE Championship. “Ya know, usually people ask for permission before raiding another person’s beer fridge.” The blonde would watch on as the two men exchanged punches, glancing down at his notepad filled with ideas involving a new engine for Makoto’s bike. “But since you’re over there, toss me a couple of cold ones will ya?”

“Geez, since you’re bogarting my booze guess I might as well get started on dinner to boot” Crow would receive a chorus of affirmative answers from the rest of his group as he pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. “I was kidding you leeches! …Geez, and I thought Jack was the king of all moochers.” He would groan as he calmly dialed the number of his usual takeout place, knowing that he was in for a long night even as he watched Jeff Hardy pass out from being in Samoa Joe’s Coquina Clutch submission. “ _Great, it’s Joe, Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio, Mustafa Ali, and AJ Styles in the main event. On paper it **COULD** be great, if they’re given enough time to go all out.”_

“Heads up blondie.” Weiss would toss a pair of Crow’s beers in the blonde-haired man’s direction, wincing as the latter ducked in order to avoid getting creamed by the loaded aluminum cans. “What, you told me to toss you a couple of beers! I was just trying to be a good hostess like that woman over at the Amagi Inn, now if she would just grow a brain and sell that damn thing to me.”

Max would sigh dejectedly as he retrieved the beer cans and tried his best to aim away from anything important as he opened ‘em up, a spray of foam spewing forward as he did. “That’s just lovely, shaken-up beer on Rusev Day..that just ruins the holiday festivities.” He would set the unopened can down and take a hearty swig of beer even as the other two simply gave him a look of confusion, the fair-haired young man returning their gaze with one of his own. “What, it’s a holiday!”

“Yes, I’m aware. But it’s NEW YEARS Day, not Rusev Day.” Makoto rolled her eyes as she finished polishing and cleaning her bike with a satisfied smile even as Weiss kicked the refrigerator door closed in a huff, the pale-haired woman was not Makoto’s idea of good company and the fact that Max had driven her here with him was even more annoying. “As a matter of fact, I’m not even sure when the hell Rusev Day actually is because it’s marked on every damn day of our calendar!” The red-eyed woman would glare at her blonde-haired friend before eyeing the tool box next to her, all the while the man whom the holiday was named for was getting attacked by his nemesis Shinsuke Nakamura as the show rolled on.

“Hold on, you said it was written on **our** calendar, that implies you two are living together.” The pale-haired woman would eye the two of them with a coy smirk, the pair in question would exchange panicked looks before shaking their heads suddenly. “Aww c’mon, you two are adorable together. Not like that mess.” Weiss would point to the television where the blonde-haired wrestler known as Mandy Rose was trying to make a pass at fellow wrestler (and happily married man) Jimmy Uso via the tradition of kissing under the mistletoe, only for Jimmy’s wife Naomi to try and attack the woman in question- even going so far as to throw her shoe at the promiscuous blonde. “Wow, even I wouldn’t go that far.”

“Then you’ve never had a real boyfriend. No self-respecting woman would let someone like that try and steal them away without trying to beat the other woman into the ground.” Makoto would toss the rag she was using to polish her bike into a nearby milk crate marked “Used Rags”, wiping her brow tiredly as she took a seat next to Max before looking around for the remote. “How long does this show run again?”

“Two hours, and I was hoping they were gonna be nice and peaceful until you all showed up.” Crow would glance over at the television to find the two women from the earlier segment- only for Mandy’s associate Sonya Deville to take her place instead. “Chinese food is gonna be here in a while guys, now can you please go wait upstairs until it gets here? I’d just like to watch what’s left of the show in peace.” The exasperated young man would flop down on his couch, removing the remote from his vest pocket and grinning cheekily as the two girls were left seething.

“Well isn’t that just peachy, we’re stuck watching the male equivalent of a telenovela- complete with a hack-kneed sexting angle by the looks of things.” The heiress would snort as a suggestive picture of Mandy Rose would be shone onscreen, and while the crowd got a reaction from the situation and the eventual victory by Sonya Deville. “Please tell me that all of these little fake fights are this mercifully short, maybe I can actually count down to how little time I have to suffer through this crap.”

“Dream on Ice Queen, we’re in for at least another hour of bone-crunching goodness.” Max would grin heartily as he closed his notebook and retrieved his cell phone, scrolling through his gallery with a mischievous grin. “Besides, that’s not the kind of pic you use to sext someone with.” He would finally find the picture he was looking for, turning around and tossing his phone to Crow who was finally beginning to adjust to his unwanted company.

“I swear to God if this is your junk again man I’m gonna-“The orange-haired security officer would look down at the screen and feel his mouth hang open in shock, looking at a picture of Makoto in front of her bathroom mirror as she covered her bare breasts while smiling suggestively. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure there’s no network on Earth that’s gonna let this on air. Also, I’m sorry Makoto. But your man’s an asshole.” The blackwing user would make a break for the upstairs door as the brunette quickly snatched the phone off the arm of the couch where he had been sitting.

“What the **fuck** Max, you told me you deleted this after I sent it to you!?” The woman formerly known as Queen would be gripping her boyfriend’s phone in a white-knuckled grip of fury as she approached him with slow, menacing steps. “Something like this could fuck up my future run to the top as a future police commissioner, tell me you didn’t save it to the Cloud!”

“Even if I did, what would it matter? You’re a beat cop, they’ll probably just pass this off as some small little flub.” The blonde would do his best to try and placate his enraged significant other, catching sight of a returning John Cena making his way down to the ring and thinking up one hell of a Hail Mary. “H-hey Mako, you remember how you wanted to see a movie this weekend? How about you and me finally make a date and go see _Bumblebee,_ after all it’s got giant robots and a strong female lead~” Max would be grinning on the outside, but internally he was praying to whatever higher power (that didn’t anti-climatically turn out to later be Vince McMahon.) that she would accept his movie date, or at the very least be distracted enough to keep from destroying him in a fit of rage.

“You really think offering me a movie date is gonna save your ass after what you did?!” Makoto would grab his arm as he desperately tried to retrieve his mobile device, a maniacal grin appearing on her face as Becky Lynch’s entrance music began to play as she devises a plan of her own. “Since you can’t do the right thing and take responsibility for your actions like a man, you might as well take your damn punishment..courtesy of THE Man!!!” Before Max could even attempt to beg for forgiveness or even run, the brunette would snatch up the young man’s arm and start wrenching and twisting it as she locked in am armbar as the man beneath her writhed and screamed in agony.

Weiss would ignore the carnage happening around her as she noticed Crow making his way downstairs with their takeout and shake her head subtly, wanting to give the not-couple a few more minutes to work out their differences.

* * * * *

“I think it’s broken…” Max would wince in pain as he placed another ice pack on his wounded limb, even as he glanced over to see a somewhat pleased Makoto calmly chowing down on her General Tso’s chicken and watching the five-man main event happening before them. “So is the 205 Live thing finally dead or what, honestly Mustafa Ali should’ve been on the main roster ages ago!”

Crow would roll his eyes as finished his shrimp fried rice and tore into his fortune cookie with a huff, reading the fortune and groaning internally. “ _Today will bring a welcome surprise to your doorstep.”_ As the former Signer looked over at the trio sitting around his coffee table, papers and various other knick-knacks strewn around thanks to Max’s struggling during his punishment. Weiss still looking rather bored as she downed the rest of her soup while glancing over at her phone occasionally as if she were waiting on something. “ _Yeah, this is some great surprise I’ve been straddled with.”_ He would make a note of the lucky numbers below the fortune as he thought about the two-hundred-million-dollar jackpot that was still up for grabs.

 “Nahh, that’s still a thing. I guess they just finally realized what kind of talent they had on their hands and moved him along, by the way Weiss..what’s the deal with you constantly looking at your phone?”

The heiress would sigh in annoyance as she glanced back at him. “I texted a friend to come pick me up, I’d really rather not be here for another hour.” The pale-haired woman would watch on bored as the main event finished up with a successful win by former WWE Champion AJ Styles, a sudden chiming noise would brighten her mood as she grabbed her phone and making a beeline for the door. “Thanks for the food, I’ll pay you back when I can!”

The sound of a motorcycle speeding off would be heard before the door fully closed, the show finally coming to a merciful end as the next show began to air as Makoto stood up and walked over to her own bike.

“Thanks for letting me use your garage Crow, think I can come back next week and tune up my girl again?” She would press the button to open the garage door and glance over at him for an answer, ignoring Max as he stood up and walked over to her bike. “And just what do you think you’re doing?”

The blonde would look over at her in surprise as he had been trying to put on his motorcycle helmet, something that was difficult to do with one arm. “Whaddaya mean, I need a ride to the ER to look at my broken arm!” Max would wince as he felt a jolt of pain shoot through him again, trying to put on his charming smile to get mercy. “C’mon Mako, have a heart will ya?”

The brunette would level a withering glare in the direction of her “friend” before getting onto her bike and revving the engine before peeling out, leaving the two men to choke on her exhaust fumes.

“Buddy, I’m pretty sure you’re in the doghouse after that stunt.” Crow would help the flustered blonde secure his helmet before gesturing to his old duel runner, knowing that his friend still needed to get checked out. “You can stay here for the night, but you’re really gonna need to do some heavy-duty bootlicking after that.”

Max would groan in agony as he began walking towards the black-colored Duel Runner, doing his best to keep from aggravating the injury any further. “What I don’t get is why wasn’t she pissed at you, I mean you saw the exact same pic I did!”

Crow would shrug his shoulders nonchalantly as he reached for his own helmet and put it on, it certainly was strange that Makoto hadn’t tried to rip him a new one after seeing something so intimate. “Maxie; if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life, it’s that you don’t question the little things that women do.” He would hop onto his Runner and rev the engine, grinning as he felt the old girl purr as well as she did in the good old days. “ _Seriously, it’s stuff like that that made Aki a scary person to deal with.”_ Crow would give a small smile as he raced out of the garage, the door programmed to shut after he was a good enough distance away.

“ _The show might have been uneventful, but this city always keeps me on my toes.”_


End file.
